Shut Up, Pete Rose, You Genius
My apologies in advance. You’re going to feel dirty after this article. I was on a baseball hiatus this weekend. Sadly, I missed all of Hall of Fame weekend. My only baseball interaction was getting updates on my phone. It is disorienting being out of the loop, even if it was only two days long. However, the two days were long enough for me to loathe then love our dear friend, Pete Rose.
When I first heard that Rose was mouthing off, I thought, “Does this guy ever learn to shut the hell up?”
I was fired up and ready to destroy him like a typical nerd behind a keyboard. My hot takes where going to use awesome Simpson references like this one:
The destruction was going to center on the fact that baseball players are bigger, faster and stronger than ever before. The science of what goes into their bodies, their dedication for the longterm financial benefits produces a superior human, clearly.
My fire takes were going to include how Rose’s career crossed over with nine of the current top 20 most prolific dong smashers of all time. We would discuss how Rose’s World Series MVP in 1975 was part of an autopilot season like the ones he so laments.
Rose forgets there were no Wild Card teams in that day. The Reds’ 20-game lead was more glaring considering only two division winners from each league went to the playoffs as opposed to the five teams per league today.
Petey was about to be eviscerated. I was going to blow him up so badly that he’d set a meeting with me to re-sign the picture he was so kind to address to me when I was five years old meeting him at Beachcomber in the defunct Shore Mall (unpaid shoutout).
But then I sat there thinking, “I too hate the all or nothing approach at the plate. In my world RBIs are a correlation to BARISP and should be weighted. The Rays ballpark sucks and I just got White Sox tickets because they’re doing two beers and ticket for $22. Will I ever see hit-and-run action again?”
I had to backpedal in this scenario and address Rose’s concerns. The fact that MLB is considering expanding is laughable in my mind. Getting teams out of certain markets should be their first priority. Owners need to stop whining about big market versus small market. Look at Milwaukee, they get gobbled up by Cubs fans just an hour or two south of them. A team in a town that has two teams.
Yet, the Brewers still find money to go after players. In today’s revenue-sharing world with billionaire owners, sports teams have the money to invest in their product. The fans not showing up is because a bad product that’s overpriced and many say is oversaturated (myself included).
Imagine less Tuesday games, fresher players and more meaningful games. I’m with Rose on making it more like the Minor Leagues in the aspect of having a shorter season. I experienced the 70/70 split seasons. It’s a really interesting proposition. But baseball is so moving and a drastic change is not likely. The major fault I see with that is the trade deadline would be rendered useless. The Orioles are highly unlikely to trade Manny Machado in a split season. They’d have to move the deadline back until August 30th.
Instead the league should combat these tanking, sloppy, boring teams by easing into more competitive balance. Start with a salary floor and expanding MLB rosters, specifically for pitchers. Teams are already paying the Major League minimum to these guys. Get some use out of a sixth starter or an extra bullpen arm.
As for the salary aspect, I love Derek Jeter, but if your people don’t have the money to operate a team, you shouldn’t get to buy it. If your market can’t sustain it, sorry, get out. St. Louis has 311,000 people and San Diego has 1.4 million. The difference in payroll is $67 million. If every team can’t get to $100 million, that’s crazy (league average is $138 million).
Who cares if the ballparks are smaller? Opting for a smaller park with an intimate feel will allow for a better fan experience. In Rose’s day people ran into monuments in centerfield. Now, they have an opportunity to bring the game closer with one swing. Who cares if the balls are probably “juiced” (aka, wound tighter)? Wind the balls all you want. I just want people to hit the ball. Strikeouts are boring.
The reason why football is a juggernaut and soccer and hockey aren’t nearly as popular here are the lack of intermediate goals. In football, you’re fighting for a first down. Soccer and hockey it’s all or nothing. Baseball has intermediate goals, base hits. Yes, walks can get you there, but it’s not as sexy. The sport is difficult enough that it’s best players succeed by being on base 40% of the time. There’s no fixing the approach to get on any time soon.
My suggestion would to be widening the strike zone. Leave knees to chest but extend the corners. That’s the hardest judgement to make which tends to lead umps to tighten the edges. It’s where the best pitchers make their living. Challenge these hitters to have to slap it the other way. Simultaneously, you’re making hitters more aggressive and only the most powerful can put a ball out of the part opposite field.
My theory is shifts will be curtailed and we will see more singles and doubles, which will lead to more situational hitting. We all know Clint Hurdle will be losing his gourd. As Rose suggested, let me argue more. Look at Hurdle’s face. I need that in my life.
Even though he’s a bitter, attention-seeking, curmudgeon, Pete Rose does have some reasonable points. Now the challenge is to be heard. Until then, he should keep spouting off during MLB’s celebratory weekend. Maybe Rose and Terrell Owens can have a joint Ego Hall of Fame festival in Atlantic City next year. We know there are a few people who would mind hosting ol’ Charlie Hustle.
