Baseball’s Best of the Worst 2019
Welp! Another great season of Major League Baseball is in the books. Congratulations to the Washington Nationals for their first World Series victory and also for getting their White House visit out of the way so we don’t have to hear about it for months.
There were so many great moments throughout the year, like all those home runs and there were, of course, the home runs, and, not to be left out, there were the home runs.
I don’t know about the rest of you—mainly because you never call me anymore—but it was a difficult season for me as a fan. The sweet taste of last year’s Red Sox World Series was quickly replaced by a bitter aftertaste as if someone went a little too crazy with the rosemary on the roasted potatoes (please don’t tell my wife I said this).
With all the “rebuilding” teams out there, it’s easy to imagine other teams’ fans also being somewhat disgruntled with how things went this year.
Here’s a little bit of advice: One of the easiest ways to feel good about what’s happening in your life is seeing others do terribly—especially your enemies—but also just anyone. This explains the enormous popularity of “fail” videos on YouTube. Maybe that makes us all bad people. Maybe it doesn’t. But probably it does.
So, as other writers are preparing their articles for who should win the major awards in baseball for exceptional performances, let’s take a moment and revel in the awfulness of the past year together. Enjoy!
Worst Manager: Joe Maddon
This is really weird since Maddon, generally, is considered one of the league’s best. Maybe the home runs threw him off, but his team had a +97 run differential and missed the playoffs. That’s a pretty stark contrast to the Brewers who made it into the Wild Card with a +3. Now it makes more sense that the Angels signed him, since they love to get guys who are past their prime.
Worst Pitcher: Trevor Cahill
The worst ERA was Jordan Zimmerman of the Tigers, but his underlying numbers were actually decent, and it looks like the team defense made things worse for him. Such is not the case for Cahill. His ERA was bad and his underlying numbers were also very bad.
Worst Hitter: Orlando Arcia
I know it seems like Chris Davis should be here. Yeah, he’s was awful, AGAIN. But he just donated $3 million to a hospital in Baltimore and that moves Arcia to the top of the list. Really bad offensive numbers along with mediocre defense and one could make an argument that Arcia alone kept the Brewers from winning their division.
Worst Fielder: Charlie Blackmon
Among the Rockies many problems this last season, defense was actually the most egregious. The team was smart enough to move Blackmon off center field to start the season, but he was even worse in right field. When your team plays in the most hitter-friendly park in baseball history (no offense, Baker Bowl—you old timers know what I mean), having outfielders that play bad defense means more outs that turn into hits and lots of hits leads to runs. I think you see where this is going.
Worst Umpire: Human Umpires
Congratulations to Cyberdyne Robotics for yet another disappointing season of umpiring by their soon-to-be-replaced flesh and blood counterparts. That interference call in the World Series was one of the dumbest things the sport has seen in a long time.
Worst Team: Detroit Tigers
Everyone loves an underdog. Even when it comes to who was the worst. At the start of the season, it was unimaginable that anyone besides the Marlins or Orioles could lose the most games. But the Tigers imaginabled it! Just a horrifying display of futility and with very few prospects on the horizon, they’ve only just begun to be dreadful.
Worst Offense: Miami Marlins
The best hitter on the team was Brian Anderson. He was the only one on the team with above-average hitting numbers. King of the Damned!
Worst Defense: Pittsburgh Pirates
Last year’s worst defense was the Phillies, and they got their business together and shot to number five. It turns out that playing first baseman Rhys Hoskins in the outfield was a bad idea. The Pirates were weak defensively at nearly every position, including some of the worst catching defense in recent memory. They might have been better off putting a first baseman back there.
Worst Pitching: Baltimore Orioles
AGAIN! The team has a couple decent pitching prospects on the way. However, the team isn’t exactly known for pitcher development or really anything at all relating to player acquisition. Plus it’s a tough ballpark to pitch in. Plus they’re in the AL East. Since they’re so close to Washington, D.C., they better get familiar with the chant of “Four more years!” It’s going to be at least that for this pitching staff.
Worst GM: Neal Huntington
The Pirates started off the season with some thoughts of being in contention in the tough NL Central, but everything went the wrong way for them and seeing so many players they traded away succeeding on other teams must have made the decision to clean house more necessary. Huntington is gone, so GMs around the league will have to look elsewhere to steal young players.
Worst Owner: Peter Angelos
The newly retitled Frank McCourt & Jeffrey Loria Commemorative Trash Award goes to the Orioles’ Peter Angelos. Hey, dude. If you don’t want to spend money on your team, sell it to someone who does. Honorable mention to Henry, Werner & Co. up in Boston who fired their GM less than a year after winning them a championship. Maybe Dave Dombrowski could have kept his job if he had won two World Series last season.
If you feel like I left something out, let me know. Don’t keep it bottled up inside you. It’s okay to let it out. You’ll feel better. I know I do.
